Peace

For me, I go through life as it leads me. I consider myself separate, never thought I belonged to anything or anyone. Freakishly enough, I never considered this as a problem. Maybe since I had gone through quite a long time of my life without much people around me or I had been let down by too many people on one too many occasions, either way I don’t consider this a problem.
I remember few incidents that I got disappointed because I was too attached to someone. Maybe those moments in time thought me to go solo. Life has gone through a long time, and I no longer give a thought to this anymore. I don’t get associated in groups formed in both work and studies; I don’t go out much, I don’t prefer to go to friends or relatives houses much. I take it they would not like me invading their life. Its like I have made peace with the way I got to live.
But lately few times this has become a problem. People acting as if I had disappointed them, which leaves me confused. Its not a matter to me that I do not participate in what others do, but apparently it does to them.
Life had molded me into something and im quite happy with that. I like being a private person at the same time a peoples person. I like it that I don’t have too many people to depend on when I do something. I like being selfish this way. And frankly I don’t care what others think or say. Either stay with me knowing the way I am or can leave. I had made peace with the fact that I cannot stop someone who wants to leave. Its easier to make peace with things I cannot fight or win.

Let Them Shine

As going through life, its not uncommon to find various kind of people and various kind of behavior among them. Even the most rational people behaving in the most outrageous way. We often wonder why. But its very rare that anyone actually stop to think the reason behind these behaviors.
Sometimes I find myself holding some emotions inside me. For repressing something I want to say or not doing something I want to do. And few people of my circle find me ridiculous for doing so. Maybe I am what they think or maybe not, either way I still do it. The reason for repressing me isn’t to explain myself to anyone.
I find most time people are very unsecure. And most time its this unsecurity which make them do crazy things. Although knowing the truth fully well even men would oppose to women just because they don’t want to be challenged. Supervisors find it hard to accept a better idea by a subordinate just because of the position they hold and to admit juniors can be smarter than them.
Its these insecurities I see which makes me suppress myself. I rather hide & let others shine. I dont get the need to shine. It aint my thing.